So here I was, a month after breaking a toxic cycle in my life and choosing to start over.
I knew that I was angry…hurt…hell, I was bitter. Pissed at myself for getting into absolute nonsense once again. I felt ashamed but that was quickly over powered by optimism for what was to come. Even though I was working hard throughout the day, I still had to look in the mirror. I still had to be alone with my thoughts before bed at night. This terrified me because I hated who I saw looking back at me.
I hated myself for what I had gone through. I took full responsibility for all of the heartbreak and bad decisions. This weighed me down. I knew that in order for me to get better, I was going to have to change my mind set.
No longer was I the victim.
No longer was I looking back on my old relationships as wastes of time and failed opportunities.
I chose not to mistake their abuse as something being wrong with me.
I grew to appreciate my past by looking for the lesson in each situation. I had to search for the silver lining and work on myself. These events helped shape me to become the stronger person that I am today. Those events were critical parts to my journey.
Finally, I was taking a new step- reaching a new milestone on this journey to joy.
Are you still blaming others for what happened to you? Do you have hate in your heart for someone or something that you’ve gone through? This is not the answer, my love. Truly analyze your situation. Think about the part that you played in it all. Figure out how you can avoid the same situation next time in a healthy way. Work on yourself and move on.
It sounds harsh to say, “get over it”…
But what other option is there? Living with negativity hanging over your head? Remaining stagnant with your own goals because you’re enamored with having an excuse not to advance in life? Holding hate in your heart for someone as they move on, happily, with their own life?
What is the point of it all? Let’s get better, together! You did NOT lose.
You won! But no one can make you see that until you want to see that.
2 thoughts on “B Well: Healing”
When I got divorced , that cleansing process was so long ( while I was in Atlanta – alone ) I was present with the same type of Negative draining Boys who had yet to learn what a man was and as I refused to continue my old ways of allowing a any type of energy around me I kept fighting and praying to God to just pull me through , I finally got through . . Healing and coming out in the other side A better woman ☺️ Thank you 💙
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I’m so glad you could relate. We’ve all gone through something that has knocked us on our backsides. It’s possible for each and every one of us to heal. We just have to continue to look at the end goal. Sending love!