When you’re a kid, you have all the time in the world for your friends and family. In fact, you make it your mission to please them and to meet every expectation of you. Of course, you had the time do so with no real responsibilities, job, bills, and if you did have a relationship, it wasn’t extremely demanding.
Fast forward to your college years. Fast forward to you starting your business and you will find that you are being pulled every which way, and participating in a balancing act in attempt to juggle…adulting.
You look up and find that it’s been almost a month since you’ve spoken to your family or close friends. My best friend (one of the best people that I know) lives in my hometown, which is about thirteen hours from where I now live. Some weeks, our friendship is reduced to snapping one another our work loads. Another week may be tagging one another in hilarious memes that we laugh at to keep from crying due to our work load. And another week will be us sending, “Sorry I’m the shittiest of shitty friends!!!” texts back and forth.
You think back on how much time you used to spend with family and friends just to feel like you’re alienating yourself now, because of all of your responsibilities. When you call or text them to apologize for your lack of existence in their lives, they tell you that it’s okay, but that doesn’t make you feel any better about it.
So what’s the resolution? Wine? Yes, but who wants to ski down the slippery slope of alcohol dependency? (ME! JK!) No, but yeah, I think the solution boils down to communication and understanding.
Talk with the people closest to you. Let them know that you’re building your life right now and that means that you won’t always be available or able to spend money. Let them know that you love them and that you’d like to schedule quality time with them, on a real calendar, so that it can be set in stone and you can prepare yourself for it.
Balance isn’t easy. But it sure is hell eases your mind when everyone is on the same page with what you’re working towards for your life.
Keep working towards your goals.
Get a system that works for you. YOU CAN do this.
The people in your circle love you. They support you. So, keep going.
You’re not horrible. You are NOT failing at life. You’re just learning what works best for you- creating your own rules.
Sitting around with family seems like it would take up so much time, but often, it’s exactly what you need to recharge! Or maybe it isn’t family that helps you recharge, but something does help. Figure out what that “something” is (please keep it healthy) and make that your go-to for self-care. Burnout is not an option!
Adulting is a rough transition on rocky seas. However, you can face the waves on a yacht of peace that you’ve built for yourself using effective communication, in order to eliminate the multiple-pull feeling we talked about earlier.
I love you! It gets better.