Your tribe (circle, clique, squad, group, crew) should be a direct reflection of you.
When you look at the people you surround yourself with, they should speak to where you see yourself in life, where you’re on your way to, and who you want to be.
No, that doesn’t mean that you literally want to be these people. It means that you should build strong connections with people that you see something special in. They will possess a certain trait or mentality that you wish to have.
Who ever we spend the most time with, that’s who we will mirror. We will begin picking up their humor, their mentality, the way they speak…it all changes because we become one spiritually with these people.
Choose your circle wisely.
Don’t read this and go cutting folks off. Lol! But analyze who is close to you in your life. Think on what the dynamic is between you and these people. If you’re on a journey to actively remove drama and stress from your life, ask yourself the following questions:
- Am I pouring into this person? Do I give this person sound advice, aiding them to move in the direction of peace and resolution in their life?
- Is this person pouring into me? Do they give me sound advice, aiding me to move in the direction of peace and resolution in my life?
There are more questions but I’m choosing to highlight these because of the topic of discussion.
Sometimes, we find ourselves friends with people that we can’t confide in. They may not confide in us either. Or they may only confide in us, without us feeling as though the job can be reciprocated.
Personally, I’m avoiding relationships where I’m not being fed spiritually. I’ve been in friendships where I was literally a person’s counselor…without being PAID. Lol! It was hell for me because I love to solve problems. So, I always try to find options out of a seemingly option-less situation for my friends. But, I noticed that person couldn’t do the same for me. I would call about work related issues, relationship issues, or family issues and I would get, “that sucks…so wait, what should I do about…..” That isn’t fair. And if you’re reading this and you’re THAT friend…stop. Your “strong” friend needs encouragement and balanced perspective just as much as you do.
The reality of it is…we’re ALL going through things. When you call your friend and just start venting without letting them talk at all, you don’t know where they are, if they’re busy, who they’re with, or what they’re going through. We’re supposed to always be there for one another, but we’re equally supposed to always be respectful of one another’s time and energy.
Analyze the friendships in your life. Ask yourself those questions and be honest with yourself. Are you learning from these people? Do they tell you what you need to hear or only what you want to hear? Do they accept when you bring truth to them? If we truly want to create a change in our life, we have to trim the dead relationships (among other things). It’s easier said than done, but you can accomplish this task. Limit the distractions and transform your life.