I feel like I haven’t been here in a while. Perhaps because I truly haven’t been inspired to write. Instead, I’ve found more inspiration in analyzing my past year. It seems that I got too bogged down in churning out content. Too carried away with the social aspect of getting my writings out to the public. However, I’m realizing that’s not what I need. I don’t NEED to make money off baring my soul. I don’t NEED to put that kind of pressure on the universe to keep delivering sparks of inspiration. I think that’s why I’ve been in this drought.
The universe. Hahahaha, it’s so sassy! “Oh, you wanna rush me? Oh you wanna demand from me? Oh okay… New phone, who this?”…..
God has to be a black woman, lmao. All that attitude that seeps from the pores when an ounce of disrespect is shown. An ounce of lack of gratitude, and she curses you a** out and makes you feel her absence. You will respect it.
In all seriousness, though.
I’ve been reading Big Magic, written by Elizabeth Gilbert.
So, when I read, I talk about the things I’m learning as if the author is teaching ME specifically. As if we’re sitting casually on my big-girl couch (the first couch I bought with my own money that WASN’T a hand-me down from my mother. Be it said that my mother’s hand-me downs are always beautiful and high quality. I just needed my own! So this was a major accomplishment) sipping Taylor Port wine and eating birthday cake (because why not?!). As if Liz (bc we’re friends so CLEARLY I can call her Liz) is wrapped up in one of my many throw blankets sharing her knowledge with me. So get ready for this BFF-sesh.
Me: Idk, I feel so anxious about my lack of content lately. Shouldn’t I be consistent with what I’m offering to people?
Liz (paraphrased from the book): There’s no need for that. You’re scared to write anything because you don’t think it will be as good as your past content.
Yeah guys, Liz is THAT friend. Whew!
Me: That’s true. I haven’t picked up a pen in so long. What if it’s NOT good enough. What if I lose myself again?
Liz: You’re looking for permission. You don’t need permission. You are a creative being. Just create something!
Me: So wait…it doesn’t have to be good? Or something for others to read? So, I can just make something…anything?
Liz: That’s what I’m telling you. Stop pressuring yourself. Ideas move from one person to the next. Lower your expectations for yourself and just breathe.
Me: Oh no you didn’t!
Yeah, guys, that’s the convo I have with THE Elizabeth Gilbert in my head. Lol. But seriously, Big Magic is a phenomenal read. It’ s basically about creatives needing to loosen up. You don’t have to go through constant turmoil to put out great content. You don’t have to be a tortured soul to be a literary god. Also, you don’t HAVE to be a literary god.
She told me (lol) to get back into dabbling in other art forms so that creative energy can continue to be exerted. This book is what the creative me needed. Now, excuse me while I finish talking to Liz / reading the book. Lol
Be well, guys and just breathe