My Encounter With Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is proposing to your girlfriend which makes her move away from home and a good job to be with you, only to take it back two months after she has alienated herself in a new state with no support system.

Emotional abuse is volunteering to help your girlfriend in her time of need, only to constantly remind her of everything you pay for.

Emotional abuse is going out of your way to compare your girlfriend to your ex, stating how you prefer a body image unrealistic for her.

Emotional abuse is playing on your girlfriend’s insecurities and low self-esteem by calling her weak.

Emotional abuse is victimizing yourself when you treat her foul, conditioning her to stop speaking up for herself.

Emotional abuse is threatening to end the relationship every time there is an issue.

Emotional abuse is constantly telling her that you’re tired of trying with her, but still not expecting the relationship to end.

Emotional abuse is not “knowing how to communicate” but knowing enough to manipulate.

Speaking of manipulation, Emotional abuse is treating her wrong then twisting it to make her apologize for following her intuition- conditioning her to never trust her own thoughts and feelings.

Emotional abuse is never saying sorry unless it’s on your own terms.

Emotional abuse is never enjoying anything that you didn’t come up with- making her feel inadequate.

Emotional abuse is taking the power from her so she can’t even explain what you did wrong. You shut her up by saying everything you think she’ll say, so that she will remain the mute toy you have trained to be inferior.

Emotional abuse is not communicating your issues but instead blaring related songs to make her have to guess what’s wrong.

Emotional abuse is using your control to kick her out of the bedroom because sleeping next to her “is making you sick”, only to tell her 3 minutes later that you were wrong and she can come back to bed.

Emotional abuse is refusing to verbally speak to her when you’re upset, so you text a response to everything she says whilst being less than 5 feet away from her.

Emotional abuse is real and it leaves wounds that can’t be seen but can surely be felt. This abuse is not limited to just women. Countless amounts of men have also been victims of emotional abuse. Survivors of emotional abuse often don’t know that there is a name for what they have been experiencing. Abusers often don’t know the effect they have on the person they’re abusing.

To my fellow survivors, you are not weak or stupid! You are strong for staying as long as you did/have. You are not to blame for their sick behavior. It has nothing to do with you. This abuse exists because of their own issues. If you are feeling like there is nothing that you can do to make things better or to make them happy, that’s because there isn’t. Sometimes, they don’t even know what makes them happy.  There truly is nothing that you can do and it is time to find peace by leaving.

I chose to create my own destiny by leaving. I was shocked that I did it. I was terrified but I knew I had had enough. I knew that I couldn’t take anymore. I had to leap. I had to just get out of there. And I believe whole heartedly that you can too!

This is me…sharing my story about my unique emotional abuse experience in hopes that it will help someone to realize what’s going on in their own lives. If you have experienced any form of abuse speak up to someone who can help. You are never stuck. “There’s always another way”